East of Edenburg

Well, I don't know.
It's like I'm staring into everything and seeing nothing.
And I want to know everything,, but I can't break down this wall.
There's no nobility in gluttony and wrath. And between the two,, when I look in the mirror,, I see something so lost and scared. And it's not that I feel like I'm sinking into a black abyss,, but rather I feel nothing at all with the exception of the cold glass of the mirror on my finger tips. But it's normal. And I know that. Everyone starts to feel this way:: lost.
Something will happen to pull me back into reality though. That's how it works,, right? At least that's what I've conjured. Normally,, I would mark my forehead with the sign of the unique,, but I'm not that lucky. I'm different,, but I'm not the only weird person,,




But I do everything for everyone else because I know I can't please myself unless I can make someone genuinely happy. It's just those times. Those times when I try to do whatever it is that I think I've become a master of and I get rejected. But goddammit,, I'm not doing it for you;; it's all so I can feel something.

It's not a worry though. I'm not worried. I just want to be left alone,, honestly.

Alone.
                               

Alone. Alone. Alone.

So my ears stop buzzing and my heart stops racing.
Because I can't handle having to try to make that connection. I'm busy. Too busy;; my head's busy.



Full of feelings, not words.