"That's selfish," replied Mal.
"No, it's not. Everyone else is being selfish by making me feel tied to this body, to this time on earth. It's not like I feel this in bursts of emotion, but rather, philosophically I don't believe I belong here nor do I want to."
"It's selfish not to spare the mourning of so many because you're too weak."
"Weak? Weak. Heh."
"No, it's true Em. You and I both know it. The only reason you really want to die is because you think there is no purpose, so instead of fighting for a purpose you want to disappear."
"It would have been easier on everyone else if I died an infant, or before, deep in my mothers womb, and best if I had never existed in the first place."
Mal froze, " you can't mean that..."
"I can't, yet I do. My existence is irrelevant aside from the emotional connections I've made and what do those mean Mal? What do those emotional connections really collectively mean in the end? That I existed? I don't care for that."
Emory took a breath. "Don't worry, I'm not going to kill myself or anything." She wiped a trickle of blood from her nose. "But you were right about one thing: I am weak. When this bleed stops can we just forget the nightmares and go back to sleep?"
"Since the nose bleed's not over yet.... What do you think really happened to Nadyia?" asked Mal shyly.
"If I knew I would get a lot better sleep," Emory said while refolding the cloth the use the clean side. "Mal...."
"Yeah?"
"Everything is going to be okay, you know? Sure, I don't think this suffering is worth it, but since I think you are worth it, and for some reason you don't mind the suffering, I live another day. You don't ever have to worry about being alone." Emory wiped her nose off one last time then pulled the sheets over the both of them and then turned away from Mal and pretended to be falling asleep. Instead she stared at the knots in the wood until they turned into suns above a golden field.
In the distance, on the next hill, a silhouette burned into the horizon. Emory waved a small wave to get the person's attention. It turned toward her. It was Nadyia. It was Nadyia! Emory began to wave both arms back and forth and Nadyia seemed to see her at first but soon turned away.
"Nadyia!" she cried. "Nad!! It's me, it's me! It's Em! Please wait up!" She was now jumping up and down, but neither her words nor springing body seemed to be enough to catch Nadyia's attention.
Emory began running through the waist high weeds but there was not distance to be gained.
"Nadyia!" she screamed hurtling over the big bushes and taking thwaps from the small ones.
In an instant Nadyia whipped around and began charging full speed straight toward Emory. As the gap began to diminish Emory realized that the shape she was so sure was Nadyia was something much darker. A petrifying fear left Emory motionless as she began to be able to make out the beast. It's face had two columns of eyes leading to it's crooked beak.
On two limbs it raced at an alarming speed toward her; Emory turned to run, but within seconds it was ten yards away when, abruptly, two shimmering black wings unfolded from its torso. In one swift movement it lifted off the ground and penetrated Emory's abdomen with it's razor sharp talons taking her high into the sky, towards the suns. Her ears began to burst with sharp pains and as she slipped in and our of consciousness.
Emory gasped a final, painful breath and let out a scream.
She opened her eyes and realized she was sitting up in bed. Mal was still shaking her sweat drenched body.
"Stop... Stop... Stop," she managed to mutter through her heavy breathing. " I'm awake. It was just another one. I'm alright."
"Em, you're not alright. You're covered in sweat! You shot up with a blood curdling scream. And look now?! Em, you're nose..." Mal handed Emory a new rag to catch the fresh, raw blood. "You're not okay Em. Just be honest with me...."
